A Different Kind of Christmas

This year during December's Christmas events and gatherings our soldier may be absent from our midst, but never from our hearts!

This is simply a different kind of Christmas. Just going out to get a freshly cut Christmas tree is quite the task for our daughter-in-law and her three young children! 

We have mailed our last Christmas box to those serving in Afghanistan and elsewhere overseas. We pray they all arrive to their recipients...including our son. These boxes of love may simply contain items most of us can go buy within a few minutes' drive...but they contain much more than that to those who receive them. They contain a feeling of "home." Of love. Of support. Of generous and thoughtful giving and humble receipt. They may contain items they need and cannot get readily. When a box is opened, love pours out!

This Christmas season I have not given any thought to what I would like to receive from my loved ones in a box. My thoughts have been geared up on what I can put IN a box....and how many boxes can we get over there to lift up and encourage those far from home?

I think of it this way. All military families of deployed troops will miss their soldier in a variety of ways this holiday season....family groups might miss one or two from their midst as a general rule. BUT...every soldier is most likely missing many people this Christmas. Family members, friends, co-workers, church family, social groups, you name it...it includes a lot of people! So I tell people, "Don't pray for me! Pray for my son...he's the one missing so many.  I will miss him for sure! And yes there will be an empty place and we will all miss his smoked meat! Yes, Christmas morning for his wife and kids will be different....but they will wake up together. He will wake up to an empty cube of a room that he has called "home" since he deployed. But he won't be alone! Jesus is there...

Jesus is the reason for the season...and joy in the heart can be found, no matter the external circumstances! Our hero is celebrating the same Jesus 11,000 miles away...and that right there means we are together this Christmas. In thought, in action, in heart. All things that count....and maybe, just maybe, we can reach out and touch that computer screen and see his face on Christmas Day. That would be the greatest gift for all of us this year! :)

The following graphic and poem was posted on my son's facebook page to his wife...I found it fitting to place here with this post. May all of our troops serving overseas this Christmas find joy of the heart. It's a different kind of Christmas and although you may be physically far from home, you are ever near to those you love and those who love you...

LCain

CHRISTMAS IN A BOX

Just prior to deployment my son had to tell his little boy that Daddy wouldn't be home for Christmas. He had an Army job to do. That little four year old boy was zeroed in on that fact...

When my grandson came to my house the next time that's all he wanted to talk about...the fact that Daddy was going to be gone a long, long time and not be home at Christmas or for his birthday.

I had a thought. I said, "Do you remember when you lived far from Nana and you couldn't be here at Christmas last year? What did we do?" His eyes lit up. He said, "You MAILED my presents! And I liked getting presents in the mail!" 

 Uh huh....now he's thinking. "I bet we can mail Daddy's presents to him!" Yep...now we're on the right track. His spirits lifted and he immediately started to think about what to put in a box to mail to Daddy for Christmas....leggos, robots, cars. :)

There's a lot of love that goes into a box. Material things matter to our men and women who need them, but it's the love in there that matters most.  Love can be felt from a family member who made cookies, but it can also be felt from a total stranger who chose YOU to send a box to...

Little tokens of appreciation go a long, long way when one is off doing military work in far off places. Little pieces of home keep one connected. Attached. Remembered.

Today we are so fortunate to have the technology we do in keeping connected with ones serving overseas or elsewhere out of reach. I can't help but reflect on my grandparents and great grandparents during their children's service eras. Waiting for months at a stretch to hear anything from their children had to be exhausting! I have letters from WWII written by my great uncles to their mother (my great grandmother). Most of them reflect how lonely they were - longing to hear a word from home. I simply cannot imagine....today I can hop on the computer and jot my son a message. It might take a few days for him to respond, but he usually does. I am so very grateful for that!

Let's not allow facebook or the internet to replace handwritten letters from home. It's something tangible from a loved one that they can hold, feel, look at, and keep. 

So, send a box to someone overseas this Christmas. There are plenty of organizations out there you can support through if you don't have a specific soldier currently deployed to mail one to.

Jot a personal handwritten note to include in your box...it will mean the world to one far from home.

You will be surprised at how many people would be willing to help if asked. In the past month we have shipped six care packages to our son's unit to share and have four more ready to send. All boxes include donated items from our church and others that we've tossed in with our own purchases. To date all boxes have had shipping fees donated!

It's a terrific experience to see who helps in what way. It's humbling and it's amazing....and we are ever grateful! I have never laid eyes on the people my son serves with...but I feel like they are some of "my own" in this journey. And I will continue to bake them cookies until they all come home....

 LCain

REASSURANCE....

I had a sweet elderly lady call me last week.

I did not know her, but I do now...

She's a military grandmother who leads a prayer circle for our local military families through her church.

She asked if she could add our son's unit to her list.

Of course!

There's reassurance in knowing that others -many we do not know - are joining us in prayer for our loved ones serving far from home.

She mailed me this poem:

REASSURANCE
Dear Lord, could You spare some Guardian Angels 

To give me peace of mind
As my children wander from me 

And stretch the ties that bind
You have heavenly legions, Father, 

Could You send me just a few
To guard my eager children 

As I give them Lord to You
O thank You, thank You Father 

And oh my glad heart sings
I'm certain that I just now heard

The swish of Angels' wings!

 

(Image from Support Our Deployed Airmen and Support Our Deployed Troops website)

LCain

HUMBLED...

Wow. Have you ever had a total stranger tell you they are praying for you? 

Today I took two boxes to the local post office to mail to my son overseas. They were the first of what I anticipate to be many boxes we will ship in the coming year. These two boxes were plopped on the counter and a friendly, familiar face said, "These for your son?" I said yes. She helped me work on the customs forms and labels and while doing that we talked about how moms deal with deployment. She was prior Navy. Said she wondered how her mom did it when she was in the service. I said, "We pray through it."

The elderly woman standing next to me at the next counter said, "You tell your son I said 'THANK YOU' and that I'm praying for him."  That humbled me and I valued that expression of gratitude! And if that wasn't enough, the man behind me spoke up and said, "She's not the only one praying.." 

The three of us stood there and I got weepy. Two people I didn't know reached out their prayers for my son and the men and women he serves with. I couldn't speak. My emotions were on my sleeve and all I could say was, "Your kindness is going to make me cry! Thank you.." And I walked away and wept all the way to the car, and after I got in the car I just sat there a minute. I totally wasn't expecting that, Lord!

I wasn't weepy today. I was rather cheerful as a matter of fact, happy to finally be mailing my boy these items I've lovingly thought through and planned and packed. The support that was shown in those few moments of time  totally hit me down to my core! And it was a moment I will never forget....

After running home to blow my nose and fix my makeup, I moved on to my next errand for the day. I needed to make copies of a flier regarding donations we are collecting for the boxes. Again, the worker is familiar to me as I've done business in this place on a number of occasions. She made the copies and came back and said she'd like to post one up in the store for me. And then proceeded to give me some suggestions for other stores to approach for the same. There was just something "understanding" in her voice. A nice looking young man standing next to her, about late 20's I'd say. Close to my son's age. She then pointed to him and said, "This is MY son. He just got back from Africa." I looked at him and just said, "Thank you." Again, I was ready to boo hoo. I found another local military mom and soldier to support and pray for. He told me who he serves with and that he has another two years to serve.

I hope all military mothers experience support for their children in the service. These willing servants deserve a lot more than they receive. Many have to struggle to get or keep benefits earned in a very difficult way. Many have sacrificed so much more than we will ever know. The entire family does.

So from me to you....THANK YOU. Know I am praying for your child each and every day. And if you shed a tear or two when people say that to you, it's OK. It's from your mamma's heart. No matter how old that "child" may be....

LCain

A SOLDIER'S PRAYER

 

 

Lord, I answered a special call

 

To serve, protect and defend

 

Be with me Lord wherever I go

 

Be near me til this journey ends

 

 

Protect us all here on the ground

 

Out at sea and in the air

 

Guide our each and every step

 

Keep us safe within Your care 

LCain 2012

WHERE'S YOUR HEAD?

A few months ago my father was diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer. It originated in the liver but had already spread to bone, and lymph. The first thing my Army son did was call his Pappaw and ask, "Where's your head in all of this?" They talked about God being in control, staying positive, and being strong throughout the journey of chemotherapy.

Sometimes we as military families need to ask ourselves that very same question. Especially if we are seeking a faith based journey. Where's our head in all of this?

For me, I yo-yo back and forth between being strong in the Lord and wanting to wilt to the ground in a heap at Jesus' feet. Sometimes my head says I'm being strong and trusting in Him...but my body does crazy things that indicate otherwise! My stomach hurts and churns whenever I eat. I wake up in the night and immediately think of my son and where he is and what he might have to endure there. I cry. My patience isn't as good. I feel "fussy" inside...agitated.

My head is not in alignment with my heart....

I pray. I seek God's Word. I think I'm on the right path in trusting God for His will with my son in this season of serving his country. Then why do I still experience these symptoms?

Because my heart is battling the human nature in me as a mother.

My Christian teachings in my head tell me what to do, but my heart has yet to follow in this particular scenario...and become aligned with one another.

Once that happens, peace replaces fear and worry and anxiety. Once I "let go and let God" there will be less tummy troubles, better rest, and my inner being won't feel in so much turmoil.

Will I go through this entire year in perfect peace? Probably not. I will probably need to pray for peace throughout this entire year. On a daily basis. It will be a walk with Jesus by my side, gently coaxing me to let Him handle the burden, because He is able to handle anything that comes my way. And my son's.

Isaiah 12:2  “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”

Sometimes I need to pull my head up out of the sand and raise it toward the Son. I need to stay focused on Him and His Words for me. That's where peace will be....and is.

Where are you in all of this? Where's your head? In the sand pit...or high and lifted up, looking at the Son?

Numbers 6:25-26 the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

LCain

I KNOW WHO HOLDS TOMORROW...

Saying goodbye to my son just prior to deployment was one of the hardest days of my life! I wanted to hold him tight and not let him go. Words weren't easy to speak. My throat closed up. The words wouldn't come out. There were so many I wanted to say! All I could squeak out was, "I love you son..." He knows my heart. And I knew his.  Not easy for him either, but he's a true genetic carrier of being a "man of few words."  When it comes to emotional things, that is. Socially, he's a talker! And can make people laugh...and he loves kidding around. :)

That day happened to be my grandkids' last fall soccer game. We all gathered at the soccer complex and took scads of pictures! I even took two art canvases and had my son do his hand print on each of them with art paint in blue. The kids will do their hand prints in red. Something fun to hang on the wall...

One by one, family members started to leave and it was just down to his family, my daughter and her family and the two of us. Soccer games were going on and here we were saying goodbye to our soldier for a year. Our own private thing going on in the midst of others who didn't have a clue what was taking place....I wanted to shout it out, but knew he just waned a private family affair. I wanted everybody to know what he was about to do (for them) for the next 12 months! But he silently walked away...

Tough day for all. I sat at home watching the clock. My husband had to work. He's arriving at the airport about now...the kids are having to say goodbye to their daddy now....he should be boarding the plane now....Jesus help him. He's the one who will miss his entire family. He's the one who will be so far away from home. He's the one who will face the unknown each and every day for the next 365 days. God be with them ALL. Til they all come HOME....

We won't know what his day involves. He won't be able to tell us. That's the hard part. Not knowing what he's going through and how he's dealing with it. But Jesus knows...and while we won't know what tomorrow holds for him (all of them) we know WHO holds tomorrow. Without that assurance this journey for us as a family would be so much more difficult than it already is.

That's how we said goodbye. On the soccer field with the kids running to and fro laughing and giggling and waving their flags. Eating peanut butter crackers and bananas. Drinking juice boxes. Getting all hot and sweaty. 

A lot will transpire in the time he's absent from us, but we will keep a diary and take lots of pictures to make sure he doesn't miss anything this family does. :) We hope we can skype. We hope we can hear his voice, see his face, reach out and touch that computer screen every once in a while....and blow kisses to the one we love. The kids will mail pictures they draw, crafts they make, and lipstick kisses on napkins. They'll help me make cookies and fudge to send in boxes.

We're on a new journey. One we will take with Jesus for sure. He knows what's ahead of us, and He brings up the rear. His presence will be felt no matter where we go or what we do. And we pray our son feels that same presence thousands of miles away.

LCain 

TIE A YELLOW RIBBON....

We see them all the time. Magnetic yellow ribbons with the term "Support Our Troops" printed on them. Yellow ribbons tied around tree trunks in the yards of military families. 

 Here's a little history behind that customary expression of support...

 From Wikipedia
During the Iran hostage crisis, the yellow ribbon was used a symbol of support for the hostages held at the United States embassy in Tehran. In November 1979, a committee headed by Suzan E. Garrett of the Jaycees ladies service organization in Leitchfield, Kentucky organized a campaign to "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" around public trees as well as encouraging people to wear tied ribbons on lapels in support of the U.S. hostages being held in Iran. She was interviewed on ABC-TV by Ted Koppel on the newly created Nightline late-night news program and later by Peter Jennings for ABC's World News Tonight.
This symbolism continued and gained further notoriety in December 1979, when Penelope Laingen, wife of Bruce Laingen who was the most senior foreign service officer being held hostage, tied a yellow ribbon around a tree on the lawn of her Maryland home. The ribbon primarily symbolized the resolve of the American people to win the hostages' safe release. Yellow ribbons featured prominently in the celebrations of their return home in January 1981.
The yellow ribbon saw renewed popularity in the United States during the Gulf War in the early 1990s. It appeared along with the slogan "support our troops", in the form of yellow ribbons tied to trees, and countless other contexts. It often had the implied meaning of "bring our troops home" from the Desert Shield and Desert Storm troop deployments. It appeared again during the 2003 invasion of Iraq with similar meanings, most prominently in the form of a yellow ribbon printed on magnetized material and displayed on the outside of automobiles.

In the United States military, the symbol of the yellow ribbon is used in a popular marching song. The first version copyrighted was the 1917 version by George A. Norton, which he titled 'Round Her Neck She Wears a Yeller Ribbon" (For Her Lover Who Is Far, Far Away). While he tells in the song about the love between Susie Simpkins and her soldier lover Silas Hubbard, his chorus goes:

'Round her neck she wears a yeller ribbon,
She wears it in winter and the summer so they say,
If you ask her "Why the decoration?"
She'll say "It's fur my lover who is fur, fur away.

The lyrics were altered and the song was titled She Wore a Yellow Ribbon by Russ Morgan for the 1949 movie of the same name. This was performed by several popular musicians of the 1940s, including Mitch Miller and The Andrews Sisters. The Tanner Sisters recorded their version in London on December 30, 1949. It was released by EMI on the His Master's Voice label as catalog number B 9873.
The text of the Army version approximates the following, with local variations:

Around her hair she wore a yellow ribbon
She wore it in the springtime
In the merry month of May
And if you ask her why the heck she wore it
She wore it for her soldier who was far far away

Far away, far away
She wore it for her soldier
Who was far, far away

Around the block she pushed a baby carriage
She pushed it in the springtime
In the Merry month of May
And if you ask her why the heck she pushed it
She pushed it for her soldier who was far far away

Far away, far away
She pushed it for her soldier
Who was far, far away

Behind the door her daddy kept a shotgun
He kept it in the springtime
In the merry month of May
And if you ask him why the heck he kept it
He kept it for her soldier who was far far away

Far away, far away
He kept it for her soldier
Who was far, far away

On the grave she laid the pretty flowers
She laid them in the springtime
In the merry month of May
And if you asked her why the heck she laid them
She laid them for her soldier who was far far away

Far away, far away
She laid them for her soldier
Who was far, far away

Another wonderful site with more history of the yellow ribbon tradition:
http://voices.yahoo.com/history-importance-yellow-ribbon-662036.html 

My favorite yellow ribbon expression...

TIL THEY ALL COME HOME!!!!

How do you don your yellow ribbons in tribute?

LCain

 MEET LAUREL....

 

 The following submission is from Laurel Olmsted, a military mother I've never met but have been in touch with for several years now. Thank you, Laurel, for this post! I know there are many military mothers that will shake their heads in unity when reading your story! Even though it was written in 2003 these are timeless words that every military family can relate to...

We have three sons. Our oldest went into the Marines but was sent home due to a bee allergy. This was before 9/11---I am sure they would have kept him, had we been at war. 
Our middle and youngest sons went into the Army shortly before 9/11. They both were deployed. I didn’t take a true breath for four years, but I did learn what praying without ceasing meant. 

Some nights I slept by my computer just in case one of them was able to ICQ me. I lived with the TV on and hung on to every scrap of news I could get. And I waited. I waited for emails from my sons, I waited for news from the military, and I waited on living my life. When your child is in a combat zone, it consumes you. One of the worst things I have ever had to do is take my son, my baby, and put him on a plane to return to combat. What kind of mother does that?? He may have been the Army’s soldier, but he was still the little boy I had nurtured and loved with all my heart. I needed a support system, but as war was a new experience for me, there was none. 
I got together with two other moms and we talked about our sons. We shared our fears. We held on to each other and we held each other up. Those first few meetings turned into the beginning of a military family support group that would span 10 years and touch thousands of lives. I have had so many people ask me why I worked so hard, gathering donations, packing boxes, shipping boxes, giving speeches, writing letters. They said that I was doing such a wonderful thing for our troops and I was given awards. What they didn’t understand was that I didn’t do it for the accolades; I did it for each and every mother’s son and daughter serving in harm’s way. I did it to make sure that they knew they were not forgotten. Another thing that helped get me thru those years was my writing. I wrote poems, I wrote stories, and I wrote letters to other soldiers. I wrote about my new normal. People who don't have children in a war zone cannot fully understand what we go through every second of every day. Our life is no longer what we used to consider normal. Now normal is watching TV news and flipping back and forth between CNN and Fox; having the radio AND TV on so you don't miss anything. It's reading the paper for any details; it's seeing something in a store that makes you cry, or having someone say, "how are you?" and it brings you to tears. It's checking your email at 2, 4, 5, 6 am just in case....It's seeing the flag and knowing that is the symbol of America that is sewn on the soldiers' uniforms, the symbol they are making a stand for.

 

 It's tying yellow ribbons to anything that will stand still. It's wearing the picture of your son over your heart and you reach up and touch it without even being aware of it. And you pray. And you remember the little boy who you would not even allow to cross the street by himself. And you pray. That is our "normal." When the soldiers return, they will never be the same. But neither will we. We will have grown and found strength within us that we never knew we had. And we have made the best of friends with others who carry a piece of our heart in theirs. 
Laurel A. Olmsted (written Dec. 2, 2003) 
PS...My sons have returned home and I am forever thankful for that. When I wrote the piece above, I had no idea how true the statement would be that the soldiers would never be the same. Sometimes, war is never over for our returning military. May God bless our troops and those who love them. 
Laurel Olmsted October 16, 2013