I KNOW WHO HOLDS TOMORROW...

Saying goodbye to my son just prior to deployment was one of the hardest days of my life! I wanted to hold him tight and not let him go. Words weren't easy to speak. My throat closed up. The words wouldn't come out. There were so many I wanted to say! All I could squeak out was, "I love you son..." He knows my heart. And I knew his.  Not easy for him either, but he's a true genetic carrier of being a "man of few words."  When it comes to emotional things, that is. Socially, he's a talker! And can make people laugh...and he loves kidding around. :)

That day happened to be my grandkids' last fall soccer game. We all gathered at the soccer complex and took scads of pictures! I even took two art canvases and had my son do his hand print on each of them with art paint in blue. The kids will do their hand prints in red. Something fun to hang on the wall...

One by one, family members started to leave and it was just down to his family, my daughter and her family and the two of us. Soccer games were going on and here we were saying goodbye to our soldier for a year. Our own private thing going on in the midst of others who didn't have a clue what was taking place....I wanted to shout it out, but knew he just waned a private family affair. I wanted everybody to know what he was about to do (for them) for the next 12 months! But he silently walked away...

Tough day for all. I sat at home watching the clock. My husband had to work. He's arriving at the airport about now...the kids are having to say goodbye to their daddy now....he should be boarding the plane now....Jesus help him. He's the one who will miss his entire family. He's the one who will be so far away from home. He's the one who will face the unknown each and every day for the next 365 days. God be with them ALL. Til they all come HOME....

We won't know what his day involves. He won't be able to tell us. That's the hard part. Not knowing what he's going through and how he's dealing with it. But Jesus knows...and while we won't know what tomorrow holds for him (all of them) we know WHO holds tomorrow. Without that assurance this journey for us as a family would be so much more difficult than it already is.

That's how we said goodbye. On the soccer field with the kids running to and fro laughing and giggling and waving their flags. Eating peanut butter crackers and bananas. Drinking juice boxes. Getting all hot and sweaty. 

A lot will transpire in the time he's absent from us, but we will keep a diary and take lots of pictures to make sure he doesn't miss anything this family does. :) We hope we can skype. We hope we can hear his voice, see his face, reach out and touch that computer screen every once in a while....and blow kisses to the one we love. The kids will mail pictures they draw, crafts they make, and lipstick kisses on napkins. They'll help me make cookies and fudge to send in boxes.

We're on a new journey. One we will take with Jesus for sure. He knows what's ahead of us, and He brings up the rear. His presence will be felt no matter where we go or what we do. And we pray our son feels that same presence thousands of miles away.

LCain